Trouble in Paradise
by A.J. Horn
Summary: It should have been Lily's best day of her life, but she's too confuse by her attraction to Astoria to enjoy it.


**A/N:** Written for the slash/femslash competition on HPFC, this fic had been beta-read by aaliona. This is my first attempt at femslash, but I like the pairing Lily/Astoria, so maybe I'll try again.

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**Trouble in Paradise**

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The moment your boyfriend of the past three years drops on one knee and ask you to marry him should be the best day of your life, right? Especially when the boyfriend in question was the most popular guy at school, the one every girl including you wanted. Right? The moment should be perfect. The moon is full, and the meal is the definition of romantic.

So why is it that all I want is to run away from here. But I can't move. I look at Scorpius, one knee on the ground, with the ring - a beautiful golden ring with a big, shiny rock - in its velvet red box. Words scramble in my mouth. I want to run, but I can't. He smiles to me, and water fills my eyes. I see worries settle in his eyes, and it only makes me feel more guilty about what I am about to do.

I should probably go back to the beginning.

It all began yesterday.

I was super excited to be spending some time alone with Scorpius. I hadn't seen him since my last Quidditch game a month sooner, and I was missing him. I was finally done with Hogwarts, and we had plans for the future. I was happy, but I was also pretty nervous. Even though we've been together for a long time, I could count on one hand the times I met the Malfoys. I must have talked to them a maximum of three, maybe four, times, and the meetings were usually brief. Today, I was officially going to meet them.

"You've been biting your nails again, aren't you?"

Caught in the act, I blushed. "What can I say; they make me nervous."

"Don't worry, flower. They are going to love you."

"They already hate me."

"No they don't. Okay maybe a little, but that's because they don't know you. Anyway, Dad is working, and Mum is shopping with some friends. We'll have the manor for ourselves."

I smiled, relaxing a little. I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Perv."

He kissed me. "Eh, I know you like it."

I laughed and rolled my eyes in the process. He passed an arm around my shoulder, and Apparated us at the manor.

I am in awe of the manor's gracefulness, but I was distracted by Scorpius kissing my collarbone from behind me. With one hand, he moved my hair from his way, and the other was on my stomach. I closed my eyes, and for a moment, I forgot we were in the middle of the hall.

I was so lost in the moment I never realised we had an observer.

"I see you made yourself at home," she said to me with a tone of sarcasm.

I jumped away from Scorpius, blushing, and I could see he thought it was funny.

"Hi, Mum. We were just reconnecting."

"Oh, that's what you kids call it, nowadays?"

"Mum, you remember Lily. Lil, this is my mum."

"Hi, Miss Malfoy."

"You can call me Astoria."

I shook her hand, jolt of magic going through my arm. I could see where Scorpius got his looks.

She had an always-chic style of robe, her long, curly, sandy blond hair was magically still, and just perfect, and she had given Scorpius her aqua green eyes. She had long legs, which were highlighted by her dress.

"I thought you were shopping with your friends."

"Our plans dropped, but don't worry, I am not going to disturb yours."

She left, but I was not in the mood for sex anymore.

We ended up sitting in the same seat at the family library, talking about the books we had read since last summer.

It was when I felt the need to go to the bathroom that things changed. Despite Scorpius' direction, I got lost and found my way to the West End of the manor. I walked in front of a bedroom. The door was slightly opened, and I could see Astoria getting dressed.

I felt my mouth watering. She was beautiful. Her long hair was tinkling her back in the most delicious way. I followed her curves with my eyes. She had her back turned to me, and I felt drawn to her. I almost made a move in her direction but came back to my sense just in time. I hurried away, rushing back to the library.

"You okay?" Scorpius asked me.

I couldn't answer, so I kissed him, trying to give it all the passion I could, but I couldn't get Astoria out of my mind.

That night, even after exhausted myself with sex, I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, my thoughts would go back to her. In my imagination, she turned to me. She told me to come closer in that soft voice of hers. She revealed her straight, white teeth to me. I had goosebumps when she caressed my hair. Slowly, she took my clothes off. As her lips brushed against me, I woke up, wet and panting.

The next day, I did everything to be as far as I could from her. The few times I crossed paths with her were uncomfortable. I couldn't look at her without blushing horribly.

And then Scorpius took me out for supper.

It was perfect, until he got on one knee and proposed.

I am a horrible person. He is waiting for an answer, and all I can think about is his mother.

I feel a tear running down my cheek, but I don't wipe it.

"I'm sorry. I can't." My voice breaks, and I run the other way.

He yells my nickname, but I don't stop. I can't deal with a proposal with all that's going on at the moment. I need to sort out everything before I can even think about Scorpius.

I can't marry Scorpius if I don't know what I want. Am I a lesbian? Or bisexual? Or is it just a phase.

I'm confused, and I don't know who I can talk to.

When I stop running, I realise I am kind of lost, so I make myself Apparate home.

My mother is surprised to see me.

"Mum." My voice break again, and suddenly I am into her arm. After a moment, I tell her everything.

When I'm done, she hugs me tight, and she whispers to my ear that everything was going to be okay, and that we will figure it all out together.

I can't help but believe her.


End file.
